Oct 17 2008
How Charity Begins at Home
Ever hear that saying about Pastor’s Kids? Yeah, that one. It’s probably true.
I was raised in the Christian Church and spent thirty-three plus years within its hallowed basements, fellowship halls or makeshift sanctuaries, on its pews, folded chairs and cushioned seats, behind its pulpits, microphones, and steering wheels, or immersed in childcare, bible study, and youth ministry. I could go on and on, but I will spear you (for now) and go on to my main point: From what I’ve seen, it’s the exception and not the rule that the children of pastors are neglected, judged unfairly, and in turn act rebellious.
I’m not here to blame the children nor to shame the parents or even their shame-inducing communities / parishes. My consternation is focused on the fact that pastors are typically well-meaning people who want to do well in the eyes of their people, their communities and by God. But they get so focused on the work of ministry that they do not center themselves right. Their is a need to begin their work in the home and to let everything else come from that center.
Most pastors (here, by the way, I am speaking specifically of the Protestant denominations) work hard to serve their people. That is their calling, they are sure - their vocation. And there is nothing wrong with that, per se. For the most part, it is good work that they do. But the sacrifice - their families’ well-being - should not be on the table. If they want their flocks to prioritize their families, then they need to set the example.
The same is true in many vocations that I’ve been in contact with - missionaries, teachers, lawyers, doctors, accountants, etc., etc. But how can we expect our children to be generous, to be balanced, to have a helping perspective, to feel accepted and loved if we parents do not put them at the forefront of our mission, rather than the cost of our mission.
