Nov 28 2008
Thanksgiving Dinner Checklist
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What was kind of weird about Thanksgiving week (so large it just has to expand) was that I experimented on my own extended family. They were the guineas for my pig because they’re family and therefore expendable. What was doubly off-putting is that my trial run was so much tastier than the actual event. Maybe that’s because I was such a pro-ham that I needn’t worry about the particulars – the little stuff like the actual amount of cooking, the glaze and its beautiful application, and the fact that I kept opening the stove every twenty minutes. I may no longer have been a little suckling, but in the process, my meat wasn’t as succulent.
The other end of the deal was that – although we only needed one ham this time – we had to make more food. This took more time and preparation, of course. None of which I applied.
Cranberries? I opened up that can and I poured it out. And not only that, I chopped it up too, so that it wouldn’t look like it came from a can and sat there the last two years.
Mashed potatoes? Wife made them. I just needed to apply (lots of) milk and butter.
Green bean casserole? You’re kidding, right?
Dinner rolls? Yeppers. I split them from the little tube myself.
Add delicious, melted butter to hot rolls as they stream fresh from the oven? Oops. Sometimes it really does pay to have a kitchen bigger than a walk-in closet.
Stuffing? Yes. The cubed variety, cooked on the stove with chicken broth.
Gravy? Fired up the stove myself. Turkey flavor, just to add the meat variety.
Deserts were ably provided for by the in-laws. Included in that list is some Frankenstein’s monster of a doughnut-cookie experiment that stopped my blood from flowing for a couple heart beats. Anybody who thinks that that is a criticism just doesn’t understand food or its enjoyment.
