Dec 22 2008
Action-Adventure Daddies VII: Jingle All the Way 2: Jingle All the Way-er
Today’s caveat lector: The other four parts are scattered somewhere between those two.
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Our heroes in this movie [the never-produced sequel to Jingle All the Way, Jingle All the Way 2: Again!] would be wise enough to delicately hold on to their toys until the end of Christmas break, understanding that a status symbol is only as cool as those who understand its place. So they bring it to show-and-tell on the first day of school. Therefore, they have found a use more satisfying than mere transitory happiness. Its intended use has extended to social-standing, to place our heroines at the head of the social pack and pecking order (to mix animal metaphors) and that would possibly last him, her or them for about ten minutes at school before their next swirlie. At which case, it would be “Back to the dregs for you, Mister.” In which case the fathers would look on and knowingly and wisely nod their heads in approval. We understand that falling victim to bullying is a rite of passage. A completely unnecessary, barbaric, psychologically damaging rite of passage, but if we had to go through it, they should too.
If, however, this movie was produced by Michael Bay, we can at least expect our heroines to go down with a few nifty explosions.
