chicagodads

On my other site, Left Cheek, I bi-weekly compiled a Links We Like to Link to list - somewhat as a way to clear my windows cache as a way to clear my head. Felt it was long overdue for a massive one, but since most of these were specifically Chicago and/or Dad-driven, thought this might be the most appreciative spot for this list. It’s long, so I’ll keep the verbage short.

Daley’s gift-horse isn’t to be looked at in the gift-mouth. Or, logged.

CPS coaches are put on a tight leash. (Paddling? Seriously? I knew some of these cats were OC, but I never really thought it was systemic. Maybe they should consider paying coaches like they do in the ‘burbs, though.)

ED Hirsch on validity of multiple-choice testing, but at a concentrating on so-called grade-level skills. I still don’t buy it. Too much time and effort wasted teaching kids how to fill in some bubbles. Try telling a youth how this will lead them to a well-adjusted life as an adult, and all you can say is, “Well, you won’t have to do this again.”

And the lone Republican candidate in the 5th Congressional District (the one formerly staffed by Blago, Rostenkowski, and Rahm Emanuel.), I think she takes the spewing cake of hate, revile, and disgust all for herself.

$250 million state insurance to guarantee against Chicago 2016 Olympics . Can you hear the Charlie Brown moan leave my gutterals? Arrghh!!

And finally, in the spirit of the blarney stone, kudos to this south side neighborhood for closing the St. Paddy’s Parade (mostly because of knuckleheads like this guy ) and downsizing festivities to put focus back on families, heritage and children .

I read this comment from a neighborhood . listserv this morning and it really got my head spinning:

Like the male (adult) black who lives at [omitted] and tells the 8 year old kid, “Shut the [omitted] up, mother [omitted]”

Now, of course, part of the reason my head is spinning is because the guy used it as an excuse to take a cheap shot at affordable housing and anyone connected with affordable housing (ie, low-income families and those who would fight for them - which the poster after him took to even further extremes). Another reson my head was (is) spinning is because I’m coming down with something. But, it did cause me to pause and ask, “When is it okay for neighbors to directly interfere with a parent-child relationship?” (Assuming that the child is his in one aspect or another.)

And no one can tell me that that type of language isn’t abuse (although people have told me that, I know better because I’ve seen the psychological ramifications years down the line). Yet I know that there is no way I would be able to just come by and tell this punk to not treat his girl in that manner. Not without knowing him. But even still, somebody should say and do something, right? Are our communities so broken down that we do not have a say in each other’s lives, that we cannot speak out for the protection of children? Or is this just a line of busy-bodiness (which it was with the writer of the post)? After all, aren’t there worse things to worry about than words said to a kid?

Such as this story where a (to quote the title from the blog “What About Our Daughters”), “1 Year-Old Liliana Goodman Beaten to Death by Mama’s “Boyfriend” for Being “Disrespectful” While Others Watch.” She was beaten for four hours! And there were others in the house! It wasn’t until late on in the beating that the mother stepped in.

Later I want to ask when is it right or necessary for the state to step in and do a parent’s job (or deem a parent’s job?). But for now, I do want to ask, when do neighbors step in? Upon threat of violence? When a parent spanks a child? When a parent smacks a child (even behind closed doors)? When there are whispers of violence? What are the guidelines, the boundaries, and whose boundaries do we abide by? (For instance, I have a lot of friends who lightly spank. As do we on ocassion - though I hate to admit it; I’d rather we didn’t. But then others say that a tap or a spank is always wrong.)

What do you think?

I may have spoken too soon or too late.

It appears that Chicago is at the bottom of the list of the four likely hosts of the 2016 Olympics. To some, that is good news. That would mean, ostensibly, that there are no more excuses for needlessly and riskily wasting lavish swashes of limited funds on a temporary sporting event seven years removed from us. It would mean that there is no more justification for displacement of entire populations (which is just unheard of in Chicago. Right? Right?). That maybe sports inside Chicago schools can actually get some well-needed funds.

The bad news is that that bit of good news isn’t so good. Turns out that the difference between all three candidates in this poll is only three points, and that the competition is so stiff, that “first place could end up last place and last place first place.” So, in other words, there’s even more reason to ratchet up the heat in City Hall. And maybe Daley will use this as leverage to convince President Obama to help support and fund these games.

What a tangled, effing web.

* Chicago Skyline at Night - Sept 3, 2008 by –Mike– via Flickr

Chicago has been gearing up to host the Olympics for a bit now. Early next month, we are expected to be on our best behavior as the International Olympic Committee is staking out our city to see how prepared we are to smoothly take in all of these visitors and games.

So it begins.

Somehow, we’re expected to believe that the Olympics will bring in tons of revenue but not cost us anything in the long or short-run. The new Olympic Village being built out of the ashes of Reese Hospital will eventually be bought out by developers and sold as condos and taxpayers will get all of their credited money back (Of course, that was a ridiculous idea even before the housing bust, which has changed the way we plan for and pay for housing for the indefinite future).

And now monies are being diverted (as one would expect) to pay for repaving the area around Jefferson Park (the primary location of the projected games) while schools and hospitals are shutting down , there’s a long-standing (or, rather, not-standing) sinkhole (a bit unrelated, because it’s in Des Plaines, but sink holes are dangerous for our finest and our infrastructure) and the list goes on and on.

Yeah, it’s a big sinkhole. Here’s to hoping we never get the go-ahead from the IOC.

My wife’s parents picked up the babe on Thursday and were to drop her off on Sunday morning. The wife was to leave for a church leadership retreat on Friday evening and return late Saturday afternoon. I had to work a brief stint on Saturday morning. And Saturday was my birthday. So, you know what all of that led to, right? That’s right, a slew of unhealthy eating (not that I don’t eat unhealthily enough, but now all the gloves were off, so to say).

Jennie took me out on Thursday, officially beginning the weekend. I had wanted to go to nearby Hot Doug’s for a long time, but alas, they are closed by 4pm every day. However, since I had a clamoring for some American food (but not so-called comfort food like meat loaf & mac & cheese) for the last week, I opted to go to the delicious - and unfortunately unpopulated - Honey1 BBQ . Honey1 has been widely critically praised as being among the best barbeque in the city , certainly in the North Side. That night, we tried the pulled-pork. The sauce was - true to form - sweet and tangy and the meat was good. But not quite as delicious or delicate as the usual ribtips. My regret is that they may be underappreciated in a majority White and Latino neighborhood (with prices a hike up from similar, and busier, spots I’ve been to in the West Side).

On Friday, I decided to leave my work-study area and make the trek to Hot Doug’s . Since it was 2 o’clock by the time I got to the spot, I figured I missed the lunch rush. I may have, but the line was still out the door and around the block. Fridays and Saturdays, it turns out, the popular duck-fat french fries draws the rabid masses. And I could see why, after my hour + of waiting in line, the stuff was like coronary-lining crack. Oh, and the snappy taste of a Chicago-style hot dog. Oh, just one and my week-long thirst for the unmistakable yet unidentifiable was quenched. I saved most of the fries and the other dog for my wife (I foolishly thought I’d need more. I would, but not there) but I was so tempted to finish them off at home.

The wife wasn’t so thrilled with the idea of the place, though. But I did make at least one blogger-friend jealous.

Saturday evening was a retreat at home, away from people. Not a bad move for introverts.

Sunday evening was Dye family mainstay Borinquen. According to legend, the jibarito sandwich was birthed here after the proprietor read an article about a restaurant in Puerto Rico where they served sandwiches with smashed plaintains instead of bread. Smother the plaintains in butter and garlic, and slather lettuce, tomato, and cheese (basic American sliced, usually) over your meat of choice (my favorite has been the steak, but since that’s not been living up to expectation, the much juicier lechon - soft, roasted pork rolling off the sandwich - has been the go-to lately) and you’ve got yourself a sandwich ! Another critical favorite, this time shared with a small selection of fam and friends.

And, that was about it… The next day Jen & I shared ice cream cake with some friends from our church. I’m about a year now closer to a heart attack. And that’s the Chicago way to celebrate birthdays!

I cannot tell you how enthused I am, how filled with joy am I to hear my 20 month old speak. Yesterday, we got a package from Amazon including three Dr. Seuss board books (I will continue to hold out hope that these books will last through her toddlerhood). She took one of the colorful pocketeers and sat up on the couch next to her mother, rifled through the pages and began reading to herself. It was such a delight.

Later that evening, she was sitting on my lap as we were both on the floor (a soothing and bonding time I find very useful near her bedtime especially) and I was reading Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? – and she did! And she was also able to mimic “Hoo - Hoo”, “Owl” (ok, truthfully, it was more like ‘ow-e’, but a father’s ear is never wrong). and eventually “Cow”. She said that last word as I was holding her on the steps trying to awaken my legs and crack open the door.

It’s a wonder to watch her gather her vocabulary now. There are no sentences just yet. And friends who hear our testimonies must wonder about our sanity as they never hear her testimony. But, to be honest, it just makes my writer’s heart beat so proudly to hear her play with words right now.

That’s how I recalled standing in for an in-school suspension room when I substitute taught at a school on the North Side of Chicago. A school not far from where my wife lived for a few years before she left the country. A school near where a teenager was fatally shot the other day - the 26th Chicago Public School student shot in this school year.

That’s as many students as were shot all of last school year, when citywide violence against young people was all the newspapers could talk about. The Chicago Sun-Times reports, “At this time in 2008, 19 students had been killed. In 2007, 18 were dead by March 11… The Sun-Times reported this week that 508 students had been shot from Sept. 2007 through Dec. 2008.”

This right after a student in a West Side school stabs his bully with a pair of scissors during a conflict resolution meeting.

I must admit I was wrong. The school didn’t measure up to what I’d seen as being a “bad” school. The neighborhood, compared to Humboldt Park or much of Logan Square, didn’t seem to be in dire need of a social overhaul or a bunch of Hugs for Troubled Thugs-type programs. But everybody hurts, and violence can happen anywhere: small towns in Alabama or a high school in Germany.

This is a systemic problem. It needs systemic solutions. Not just a hero, tons of them. Neighborhoods full of fathers and mothers and churches and mosques and synagogues and non-profits and teachers and administrators and counselors and cafeteria workers and accountants and line cooks and law clerks and construction workers and carpenters and butchers and candlestick makers and community activists and police all joining up to be good neighbors. We all need to be heroes. We owe it to this next generation to not abandon them in their hour of need.

Affordable housing’s become all the rage in Chicago recently. As in, some people get angry about it. They feel that since they put a lot of money down for their property under the auspices that it is an “upcoming” neighborhood, that setting aside new buildings for low-income families means that the undeserving get to steal a piece of the retail pie. Meanwhile, those who just invested a lot of money into the fledgling area are losing their investment, or so some would have them believe.

First off, just a wee bit of education: Affordable housing is not giving away space to lazy, worthless, freeloading individuals or families. Everybody who applies for affordable housing needs to have steady income. They are already contributing members of society. Second, just because they do not make as much money as some others does not mean that they should be pushed and shoved at the whim of greedy people who can afford to buy and sell houses as if they were dealing in bread.

But then the opponent of affordable housing must further be asked: What of the people who have put down family and history and community and business in this area and have invested in it for decades? What if they worked their tails off day-after-day to just be able to get by, just to pay rent or mortgage and have barely enough money left over for essentials? What happens when they are forced out of their living arrangements because the area around them is moving in such a rate that they (or their landlords) cannot afford to keep up with, say, the new taxes on their property. So, owners are forced to sell their properties or up their rents and all of a sudden, a whole slew of people are looking for housing that they can afford and that has the type of infrastructure that is needed for their families.

So, what these hard-working families are left with are a volatile cocktail of any of the following options:

• Live even closer to the edge of financial ruin by pulling money out of a safety-net (retirement savings, college savings, insurance, car, etc.)
• Pull oldest children out of school so that they can earn extra money for family.
• Move to an area where it is difficult or impossible to get to present, living-wage jobs.
• Move to an area without social, societal, and scholastic infrastructure.
• Declare bankruptcy and default on loans.
• Become homeless. Which also may happen as a result of the items listed above over time.

I’ve had the responsibility and shared in the burden of seeing many of my students, friends and their families wrestle with these realities. What’s more, any of the above puts more burden on the community and society. A homeless family is primarily concerned about getting basic needs met now, for instance. Contributing to society is not a practical option by the way, Time magazine just ran an article on how 1 out of 50 children is now homeless . That includes a more than 20% jump of Chicago Public Schools students in the last three years that are deemed homeless - with total numbers well above the national average). Bankruptcy and financial ruin means less money. Kids being pulled out of college, high school and sometimes grade school may be necessary in the short-run, but is economically disastrous in the long-haul. Also, when families are cast out of their neighborhoods to other areas, existing school buildings lose students. As they lose students, they lose finances and function (this is happening at an incredible rate here in Logan Square). Soon, the schools have to close down. In the meantime, the new neighborhoods that the families are thrown into do not have the resources to school all of the new children. So, while the one school is being torn down, new schools - and social networks - are going to have to be built in entirely different areas. Not only does this not make financial sense, it doesn’t make ecological sense.

Save the planet, support affordable housing.

And, if you live in or around Logan Square neighborhood in Chicago, come Wednesday at 6pm to Funston Elementary School (one of those schools affected, by the way) on Armitage to voice your support for affordable housing, specifically for the Zapata Apartments. See previous post for more information on this one.

There is going to be a public meeting with Alderman Rey Colon at Funston Elementary School this Wednesday to discuss the future of a group of affordable apartments for rent around West Armitage Avenue. The Zapata Apartments are to be four multi-apartment buildings (totaling 75 rental units in all) on presently vacant lots with three properties between the blocks of 3200 West - 3500 West Armitage and the fourth (still under negotiation) at the block of 3700 Cortland.

The Logan Square Neighborhood Association and Bickerdike Redevelopment Corporation have teamed up together and are working with the city to create this feasible project to keep families in the neighborhoods at a reasonable and sustainable rate for all.

Now, here’s the beauty of it: the economics. The LSNA and BRC expect to creat 87 jobs and generate $6,500,000 in income and $2,500,000 in tax revenue.. Now, of course, that’s just in the building of the homes (which, unlike a lot of other new buildings around these parts, can actually be filled.) Furthermore, these spaces would be rented out to working families making between $20,000 to 44,000 a year, so there are many other, sustainable economic benefits in raising these buildings (not to mention some environmental, etc.) that I’d like to hit on tomorrow through Wednesday.

The meeting is at 6pm at Funston Elementary School, 2010 N. Central Park.  See you there!

Um. Yikes. Story from the Wall Street Journal about how far we can go in genetically engineering our children. It ranges from prenatally treating for diseases to preventing mental retardation to having taller or blond children.

I’ve never seen Gattaca, but I’m familiar with the premise. A man is born naturally in a time when every person is genetically engineered for superiority and he’s treated as refuse.

I doubt I’m the only person that has ethical qualms about playing God. Please tell me that this won’t really happen.

As I mentioned earlier, I am in the middle of writing four different long-form works. Two of which are memoir-ish essays (one of which I’ve done some preparatory work on this blog), one of which is a children’s book, and the last is a young adult’s novel.

The young adult’s novel I’ve only gotten about two short chapters in right now, but don’t worry. I found the perfect tool to help me breeze my way through the rest of it. It’s the So You’ve Decided to Be Evil generator. I figure with my book’s antagonist out of my way, I’ll have more time to grapple with my own personal antagonist, The Attention-Grubbing Paper-Destroying Toddler.

I love being so hands-on in raising my child. But I can’t help but notice on trips through the neighborhood, to the grocery store or Target, or the health clinic that I, being a male, am in the minority in childraising. An immense minority.

I found this article at the NYTimes (you may need to register) to be a bit fascinating. It’s about how the number dads who are at home rather than at work (and the glut that is happening now because of the economic downturn) is primed to make a cultural shift in how we view stay-at-home dads.

The consensus is that although stay-at-home fathers are now rising because of the massive lay-offs, downsizing, and ‘right-sizing’ of the economy, it really will, at best, lead the way for another generation where SAHF’s are commonly accepted. The comparison is to Rosie the Riveteer, who went to work in the shops, warehouses and steel mills during WWII only to go back to the domestic life for the next twenty years.

However, the argument goes, it was because women were seen doing the traditional “man’s” job - even if for just a brief, emergency period - that some years later, they were able to find a way back into the “man’s world.” The idea is that there will be a short but pronounced spike in daddies staying home only to return to the workforce as soon as the market is ‘corrected’ (whatever that may mean), but that a generation from now, definitions and lifestyles may change.

What do you think? So much crackpipe? Are laid-off men staying home to watch their kids or just regrouping and working on their resumes in the meantime? Should these gender roles stay fixed?

* “Rosie Redux 0” by Malenkov in Exile via Flickr.

[Editor’s note: Even though I’m taking semi-holidays, through this week at least I’ll be alternating posts here and at my home blog, Left Cheek. So please read there every day you don’t find anything new here.]

The good news is that we could conceivably be done with the common cold. As well as dramatically reduce the onset of asthma attacks. Earlier this month, scientists found that they had “decoded the genomes of the ninety-nine common strains of the common cold,” according to The New York Times (you’ll probably need to register for this article).

The bad news is, it’s a practical impossibility at this stage for anybody to become financially interested in such a prospect.  It now costs 700 million dollars to finance the development of a brand new drug. And since the cold is only looked at as largely just a ‘nuisance’, there’s close to no-chance that anybody would put up the type of dough it would take to buy a bottle, much less a mass rush to the pharmaceuticals to buy the products at $100 a pop. Do you think insurance companies would dole out for that?*

Just a nuisance? You tell that to teachers and parents of young children! Why do you think they have so many combined sick-days? That’s gotta be $700 million in lost productivity per year right there! Oy.

*Which is why, in my opinion, we need to clear out the insurance and re-prioritize the pharmaceuticals if we are going to have any real positive health care reform.